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Sean Rants
I’ve been busy with a few things, so today I am turning this space over to my boyfriend Sean, who apparently drank a lot of coffee this morning and had a few things to get off his chest. A little bit...
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Embarrassing Stories
I love that people feel like they can share anything with me. Usually I’m asked to critique poetry, lend an ear, offer an opinion or give honest advice, but my VERY favorite thing is when someone gives...
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The Gospel According to Sexy Halloween Jesus
I haven’t been wanting to write recently, but apparently I tried to give it a go after my friend Dina’s birthday luau the other night. I was rereading it this morning and it seems that things quickly...
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Things To Do Before 30
When I was a kid, I kept a journal and in it I made a list of “Things To Do Before 30.” Well good news, everyone, I’m going to be 29 on Tuesday and it seems that I’ve already accomplished it all. Keep...
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My Tight Spiral
The other day my boyfriend was teaching me how to throw a football so it does that spirally thing. I don’t know why I wanted it to do the thing, I just wanted it to do the thing. I also wanted to get...
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The Horror! The Horror!
This morning on Facebook, as part of her contribution to Halloween, a girl posted her “favorite poem by Edgar Allan Poe.” Before continuing, please reread that with a valley girl accent. Do it. So,...
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We Need To Talk
Listen, we need to talk. Things are getting out of hand with a pretty big issue. It offends me on a regular basis, and I know I’m not alone. You may be an offender, so please sit down for a moment....
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VET
What does the term “Veteran” mean to you? I know we’ve passed Veterans Day, but stick with me here. Maybe you think of a friend, grandfather, dad or daughter. The word “brave” might pop into your mind...
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I Wear Orange Because…
November 25th (until December 10th, Human Rights Day) is recognized by the UN as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. We are called to wear orange today to bring...
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Jen and Tonic’s Birthday Surprise!
Hey, Jen and Tonic! Happy Birthday! This morning I got you a cake… but then, for some reason, that guy put his peen near it. Rude. So I was like, clearly I can’t give her a wiener cake, so I got...
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Pure Moods
When I was a dorky 13-year-old, I bought the Pure Moods compilation CD after seeing an infomercial for it at a sleepover. There was something about it that drew me in, something bewitching. If you’ve...
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Ultimate Makeout Session Mix
Yesterday I learned that many of you have listened to certain songs when having or imagining a makeout session. From this prompt I also learned that I know a bunch of wonderful weirdos. As a little...
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8 Perfect Gifts for Ladies
So, you waited until today to buy your lady a gift and you have no idea what you’re looking for. Naughty. Fortunately, I have a keen eye for all things unique and beautiful, as seen in my award-winning...
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A Quickie
According to my WordPress Annual Report, my most popular topics in 2013 were: 1. Stuff I did on Ambien 2. My first time 3. Young James Spader 4. Guys stripping on Skype 5. My boobs WordPress suggests I...
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In Defense of My Absence. Sort of.
Many of you have complained that I don’t write enough. First of all, in my defense, it’s kind of hard to write from inside my purple comforter that I’ve been rolled up in like a taquito ever since...
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A Different Kind of Swan
When I was 20, I kept a handwritten journal while studying abroad at the University of London, Birkbeck. I found the journal a couple of weeks ago and have enjoyed reading it and remembering the fun we...
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Sparkly, Safe and Funny Inside
On the night we met, I thought he was just goofy and weird (he is), but I remember walking into my quiet house after he dropped me off and something felt different. “That guy’s a weirdo,” I thought to...
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Ricky
We had a meeting this morning. When it was over, this guy Ricky asked for my office phone number so I could give him more details. So I gave it to him and then said in my proudest, smoothest voice,...
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True Detective Thoughts
I shouldn’t be allowed to watch anything involving crime drama/mystery/basically anything cool or potentially mind-blowing. Why? Because I get too involved and my imagination runs wild with theories...
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Marry Smart: Advice for Finding the One?
This morning on Today, “Princeton Mom” Susan Patton promoted her new book Marry Smart: Advice for Finding the One by sharing some advice during her interview. She said college women should spend 75%...
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